(hōōp-tә-dōōd’l) n. 1.Inflammation of a story caused by infectious or
toxic writing that gets in the way of the story's making progress. It is
wordy, unnecessary, space-taking, and typically should be edited out. 2.Stuff Chad thinks about when he rides his bike.
I missed the skate race on Saturday.I was disappointed, but accept that it was a blessing because I’m sure I would have been more disappointed when
my finishing time in the 20 kilometer race didn’t fall exactly on the curve I
made in my last post.Missing a race is
bad enough but having one’s scientific foundation shaken is outright
catastrophic.
My reason for missing the race is twofold.First, the innards of my car are still strewn
about my friend’s garage as he spends his evenings methodically replacing
my blown head gaskets.A friend like that is worth waiting around for.Second, the ride to the race I’d bummed fell
through when Reed called me early Saturday morning to say he was too sick to
race.
Dejected as I was, I determined not to let this day slip
away without at least putting some sort of feather in my cap.Instead of racing in a ski race in which I was
assured a good esel spark-ing, I
decided to add to my ever-lengthening list of absurd and sundry items I’ve
hauled on a bicycle, something I actually do spark
eselat.Today’s additions are a
file cabinet and a 2x4.What’s on your list?
While we officially have three more weeks of autumn, my numb fingers from this morning's commute tell me that winter weather is officially here. Winter makes for some frigid morning commutes and today it took 10 minutes for my fingers to thaw out before I could use a computer.
When the mercury drops I tend to be more likely to treat stop signs as yield signs, and treat stop lights as stop signs. Sometimes it is just too cold to wait for a light to change, and if there’s no traffic coming, I say “Why suffer?” But don’t forget to check for police cars behind you before you run the light. I made that mistake once and got this little memento to show for it:
Some states, including Idaho, allow cyclists to roll through stop signs and stop lights after yielding to other traffic, and if Representative Carol Spackman Moss gets her latest bill through the Utah Legislature, Utah cyclists will be finally be able to do it legally too. There’s a good article about the bill here.
Moss’s reasoning:
If we want people to use bikes as alternative transportation, if we want this to be a bike friendly place, because people speak about Utah more and more and move here for recreational activities, we ought to make that something that we really focus on, making cycling safe.
Moss’s bill would make great strides in eliminating some of the hassles of bicycle commuting and likely would induce more people to commute if they weren’t required to come to a complete stop every block. Sometimes the safest time to pass through an intersection is when the light is red and no cars are coming. Think of running red lights and stop signs legally as rewards for good behavior that benefits us all.
If you think this is a good idea, I suggest you call Representative Moss and tell her you support it, even if you don’t live in her district. You should also call your own representative and urge her or him to support the bill. Don’t know who your representative is? Find out here.
Sasquatch. Yeti. Red Beard. Cro-Magnon.These were all names I was called at the
Desert Rampage in St. George two Saturdays ago.It seems I had forgotten to shave my face while shaving my legs in preparation for the first race of the 2009 season.
I did finally get around to shaving, but I seem to have
missed a few spots.
There’s not much more to say about my race. I prepared the way I usually do,(by going bowling on the Thursday before),
warmed up on the morning of the race, then relaxed until just before the start.I raced well and finished 12th out
of 27 pros and quasi-pros like me.I was
happy that I finished strong, my lap time on the fourth lap was only about a 90
seconds slower than my first lap time.
There are, however, a few things that need to be said about
Mags’ race on the same day.There were
18 sport women racing against her, and she beat every one of them.She was nervous at the start, but she has recently renewed her commitment to
the hooptedoodle training plan: ride your bike to work.She takes the commuter train to O-town every
day, then pedals her very heavy commuter bike from the train station three
miles up to the University where she works.
So when she gets on her lightweight mountain bike with
hand-me-down, gently worn in, and race proven parts she climbs like gas prices climb
in the summertime.I like to pretend
that I taught her how to climb, but unfortunately, that would also mean I’ve
taught her how to descend, and that’s like taking ethics lessons from an
Illinois politician.
Oh, there’s one more thing she’s been doing that helped her climb to the top of the podium.Remember how I tried to convince
people that you can in fact shop at Costco on your bicycle?Well, apparently I have at least one
follower.
This short article inviting public comment on a proposed bicycle transit center was in the Salt Lake Tribune today:
I will be at the open house tomorrow night, not because I support the idea of a bicycle transit center, but because I want to find out just what a bicycle transit center is. The article mentions a facility for rental and storage of bicycles at the downtown transit hub, but I’ve also heard talk of showers, a bike shop and an information center.
Those all seem like reasonable ideas, but I can assure you this bicycle commuter is not going to reroute his commute just to pass through the transit center. And who’s going to want to take a shower at what is essentially Salt Lake City’s Grand Central Station [which is just around the corner from the Salt Lake City Mission]? I think the money would be better spent retrofitting TRAX cars to accommodate bikes, putting more bike racks on buses and making more room for bikes on FrontRunner.
I really want to know what kind of commuter the proposed transit center would serve.
I did another cyclocross race last Saturday. It was the second time in my life that I was a doper.
I’ll tell you about that in a minute, bur first I need to ask you to do me a favor. I’m going to be out of town all week, so can you please attend this open house for me? It’s your opportunity to provide input on existing and potential bicycle corridors that connect communities throughout the state.
UDOT to host Bicycle Corridor Public Open House in Draper
(Salt Lake) -The Utah Department of Transportation (UDOT) will host a series of public open houses throughout the state to discuss existing and potential bicycle corridors. The Draper/Sandy open house will be held on Thursday, November 13, 2008, from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. at the Draper City Hall, Council Chambers, 1020 East Pioneer Road in Draper.
In response to increasing demand for bicycle corridors in Utah, UDOT is preparing a statewide Bicycle Corridor Priority Plan. Key elements of the plan include: an assessment of current bicycle accommodations; a methodology for improving bicycle corridors; and public input and recommendations.
For more information, contact Amy Steinbrech at 801.364.0088 ext. 115 (amy@wfandco.com) or visit the UDOT Web site at www.udot.utah.gov.
So apparently the latest performance enhancing drug of choice for endurance athletes is Viagra. I know this not because I pay attention to stuff like this, but because my buddy Leif, who studies this sort of stuff at the University of Utah, tells me so.
Last Friday, Leif and I did a quick Halloween ride on the Bonneville Shoreline Trail. We were riding past Red Butte—he was dinging his bell the whole way—when he asked me if I’d like to participate in a study he was doing.
He wanted me to take 50 mg (half a pill) of Viagra before my race the next day, and fill out a survey describing any perceived effects.
I consented, but only for the cause of science.
So the race went pretty well for me. I popped the pill about an hour before the start, warmed up as usual, then lined up on the back row where I belong. For the record, Viagra is not currently a banned substance by the World Anti Doping Agency.
Cyclocross may not be the best venue for me to test a drug. The race course wasn’t overly technical, but I still suffered in the place where it was. Part of the course was on the motocross course at Rocky Mountain Raceway, complete with whoops, tabletop jumps and high-banked corners. Maybe a high octane beverage would have made me faster, the kind they advertise there at the Raceway.
I suppose what I’m saying is that it’s not my fitness that holds me back in cyclocross, it my bike handling skills. So a performance enhancing drug probably isn’t going to help me that much in this discipline. In spite of this, I did finish better than I did the week before—14th this time—and I did feel a little stronger, but I attribute that more to this being my second race of the season. I always feel a little better after the first race. I did my best to tell Leif that when I filled out the survey.
So when it comes to performance enhancement, I guess its back to flax seeds and maple syrup for me. Viagra just doesn’t do it for me. Yes, I realize that is a double entendre.
Besides, if cyclists start using Viagra to get an unfair advantage it would be really easy to test for. Picture this, scores of guys in skin tight spandex standing around after a race. All it would take is one of the podium girls bending over to pick something up. Every doper in the crowd would be HARD to miss.
Hooptedoodle reader and regular bicycle commuter Vincent G. of Phoenix sent me this email the other day. He was one of the winners in his company’s incentive program to encourage alternate transportation and trip reduction.
It’s great that the company is encouraging alternative methods of transportation, but I think the may have slightly missed the point.
Look at the prizes Karen and Vincent won.
Congratulations to Karen, Vincent and Chris. They are the prize winners for our Trip Reduction/Alternative Mode Users Quarterly drawing. Karen $10 Danny’s Family Car Wash Vincent $15 Gas Card to Quick Trip Chris $25 Visa Gift Card Thanks to all participants for doing your part to save gas and the environment.
I wonder if the prize for the winner of the company weight loss competition is a big slice of chocolate cake.
Speaking of missing the point, it took an extra effort to not do so in my race last Saturday.
This year’s cyclocross season is already a month old. So I decided it was time to strip the fenders off and remount the knobby tires on my ‘cross bike. I’ve been putting it off because my ‘cross bike is a great commuter. I thought seriously about leaving the fenders on this year, so I wouldn’t finish another race looking like this:
I rolled up to the start line for my first race of the season last Saturday at Ft. Buenaventura. I took my place at the back of the line, where they put riders who lack cyclocross skills. I had one goal for the race, and no, it wasn’t to not finish last. I would have been fine with coming in last place.
No, my goal was to not get a flat tire. See, last year my ‘cross season was hampered by flat tires, which is good for hiding a lack of skills, but can have a bitter aftertaste when you have to drop out of a race.
I got worried while I was working the pit for Ryan. He couldn’t finish a single lap without flatting, so I helped him change his wheel. I got another scare about five minutes before my race when Rich pointed out a thorn in my front tire.
“Oh well,” I thought, “there’s nothing I can do about it now.” I left the thorn in place and hoped the sealant in my tubes would do its job.
To shorten a boring story, I felt exactly the way I you’re supposed to feel in a ‘cross race if you haven’t raced in over a month. I also crashed once and dropped my chain. Three guys passed me before I got it back on so I thought for sure I was in last place.
This is where I almost missed the point, but instead I reminded myself that I was there because I love riding my bike and not because I thought I could win.
All week I thought I had finished last, but I was content because I didn’t get a flat tire. Results were finally posted yesterday and I was tickled to see that there were two racers behind me.
I’ll be at Rocky Mountain Raceway this weekend. Maybe I can finish in front of three guys this time. Maybe one day I can take cyclocross seriously, but then again, what’s the point?
One more thing. Check out Racer's video of himself, Aaron and me in the race:
Fellow Racer’s Cycle Service rider, Hooptedoodle reader, bicycle commuter and Mountain Dew slammer, Ryan M. recently had a run in—literally—with a Bull Mastiff during his bicycle commute. According to Ryan, the traumatic experience began with him just riding along when he saw a dog coming at him from his right. His next sensation was of being airborne, followed abruptly by the sensation of his back and shoulder grinding on pavement. He says it all happened so fast that he can’t really describe it in detail, which is a shame, really, because a story like this has high hooptedoodle potential. Especially the part about Ryan getting a ride home in a police car.
I’m not going to leave you hanging, dear readers. I knew that you would all want to know exactly how this tragedy happened. So I have commissioned a special report from an eyewitness to the whole event; one of the key players in the drama. I am pleased to introduce the newest guest writer to Hooptedoodle:
Please meet Rusty the Bull Mastiff. I asked him to tell us exactly how this tragedy happened.
Oh boy, oh boy, what a day George, WHAT A DAY!!! Oh yeah, oh yeah pant pant today is perfect. I love this time of year. I love when the sun is low in the sky, I don’t pant as hard—pant pant—and I can run around for so much longer. Pant pant.
Hmmm??? Why does George keep yelling at me to come back?? You go back George. There is too much to see out here to stay by your heel. Pant pant. Look at all the cars go by, George, look at ALL the cars!! I can catch ‘em George I CAN CATCH ‘EM!!! It’s a great day!!! Pant pant pant. Hey George what is THAT? It’s a bike and rider George, A BIKE AND A RIDER!! Pant Pant Pant. I can catch him George, I CAN CATCH him!! Oooh, oooh! Look at that! George, you left the gate open. Watch me go George. Pant pant pant pant pant. HERE I GO!! No time to bark, NO TIME TO BARK!!!!! Maybe he’ll play with me George, MAYBE HE’LL PLAY!!! He’s coming pretty fast. I’ll get in front of him and then I’ll……………………………………
Whack!
Silence.
OWWW!!!!!! What the woof was THAT?? (no urge to pant) Look how that rider soars through the crisp autumn air. Look at him George; He’s at least six feet high! Is that gonna hurt when he lands George? Is that gonna hurt?
George it worked. IT WORKED!!! He stopped George. Pant pant pant. HE STOPPED. He wants to play! Hey George, HEY! Why are you taking me away? Look at all the people getting out of their cars George, LOOK AT THE PEOPLE!!! Oh yeah, they all want to play George, THEY ALL WANT TO PLAY!! Let me go George, LET ME GO!! Aww, don’t shut the gate George!! Ooh, ooh, Look at the shiny red truck coming George, Look at the SHINY RED TRUCK WITH THE FLASHING RED LIGHTS. What’s that loud noise George? What’s that loud siren noise? It hurts my ears George. It hurts my ears, but this is still a great day George, What a great day!
Hey, I smell something stinky coming from the back yard. Better go investigate...
Well, the response to my request for help interpreting Maria’s dream was wholly underwhelming. Apparently hooptedoodle readers don’t have any creativity. Neither of you.
Or maybe you know better than to get involved interpreting dreams of a healer with mystical powers. Not me, I’ve got several more diary entries from our healer friend ready for your reading pleasure.But first I've got to do something about this piercing pain in the back of my neck.
There was one reader who submitted an interpretation of Maria’s dream, so it was easy to pick the winner of the Diet Mountain Dew T shirt. Those of you who didn’t submit an interpretation are going to be sorry when you see GhostWriter sporting this T. Did I mention it’s a cotton/poly blend? You can’t find clothing like this just anywhere. GhostWriter, send me your address in an email and you’ll soon find clothing like this in your mailbox.
Speaking of interpretations, you’ve been reading my interpretations of the virtues of commuting by bicycle for quite some time. Sarah, one of my co-workers, heard my call and commuted by bike several times per week all summer long. I asked her to write up her feelings and experiences about commuting. Here’s what she wrote. It’s great.
Finally! I did it – I rode my bike to work! Wow – I am so wiped out and now I have to work. Are you kidding me??? By mid afternoon, it was all I could do to keep my eyelids up. By 5:30 I was back on my bike and heading home. By the time I got home, my butt was not sore, but RAW, my neck and shoulders were throbbing, and my hands were numb……And I loved it! Weird, right?! I was hooked and back on my bike once more!
Getting up super early and riding into work on the Jordan Parkway, dodging doves and ducks, rather than crazy car drivers, was a fabulous change. I get to work awake, in a much better mood, & I’ve already gotten an hour of exercise in for the day.
Also, now when I have errands to run, I take my bike. I love it so much I wonder why more folks aren’t out there riding. I don’t think I’ll ever reach Chad’s level (Who goes to Costco on a bike!??) but it is a worthy challenge! Can you imagine bikes replacing motorized vehicles? The military “surge” into Bagdad with the army people all pedaling bikes!! OK maybe rush hour…someone gets a flat on their bike and everyone slows down to see if they are alright and need anything? No honking, no rubbernecking, no tailgating. Probably some cutting in, but who cares, I ride pretty slow. It’s not likely that I’ll speed up and catch the biker that cut me off to shoot them the bird!
Let’s one by one remind, and if necessary, convince folks how great biking is. Remember we all wanted one when we were kids!
Some pictures I’ve taken while commuting over the last few days.
Now is one of two periods every year (spring equinox is the other) when the sun aligns perfectly with Salt Lake’s east/west running streets, making cyclists even harder to see. Use extra caution—all of you.
There’s a new shared lane for bikes and cars in downtown SLC. Great idea, but does it send the message to motorists that bikes only belong in lanes painted green? Can't bikes use the full lane everywhere (except freeways)? Click here to read more about the new shared lanes.
Another creak led to discovery of another crack in another Paragon. I’m 2 for 2 on cracking bikes at 12 Hours of Sundance.
Today's post was supposed to be about Stage 1 of the AMC, but I had a unique experience on my way in to work today.
Bicycle commuters face lots of hazards. From inattentive drivers to inclement weather, from poorly placed storm drains and broken glass on the roads to disgruntled lawnmower drivers, I thought I had seen it all in my thirteen years of commuting by bicycle. But today I had new experience to add to the list.
I got sprayed by one of these:
It was parked at the side of the road as I came by. The driver started up the sprayer at just the right time to get me. I got drenched.
I don’t know what those street sweepers spray on the roads, but I can assure you it doesn’t taste like plain water. I appreciate that they’re cleaning all the debris off the shoulders of the road where I ride, but must they do it during the morning commute?
On Friday I reiterated my conviction that bicycle commuters should ride in the same clothing they work in. This morning I saw this guy on my way to work. He, obviously, works as a personal trainer at the local Gold’s Gym. He might also be an exception to the rule. How do I know he’s a dedicated bicycle commuter? Look close. See, he’s not ashamed to roll with fenders.
Really though, I don't care what he wears, or how he wears it. I'm just glad he's riding.
Here in Utah we’ve got ourselves a governor with grandiose political aspirations. I suspect he’s got his eye on a cabinet position in a McCain administration. Two weeks ago, Governor Huntsman mandated that all state employees were required to work a 4-day work week so he could close state buildings on Fridays and save energy. An article in yesterday’s Desert Newssays that the Guv has been making the rounds on the national infotainment circuit, appearing on CNN, NBC and Fox in just the past week. Not to mention numerous interviews with radio stations and newspapers.
Then yesterday the Guv, along with the mayors of Salt Lake City and Salt Lake County, announced that they were going to launch a campaign to get more people riding bikes.
I couldn’t stay silent any longer. I wrote the governor this letter:
Dear Governor Huntsman,
I want to applaud you on your efforts to cut energy consumption and reduce greenhouse gas emissions throughout the State of Utah. You are showing that these changes can be made without jarring our strong economy, and other states are taking notice. But I have detected an inconsistency in your approach that could come back to haunt you in your future endeavors.
While saving energy is a noble cause, Guvna, if I may call you that, I have to tell you that you’re going about it the wrong way. By forcing twenty-some odd thousand state employees to adjust their work schedules to fit in a 10 hour workday, and by not allowing them any flexibility in choosing the days they’ll work, you are putting your own political aspirations ahead of thousands of parents with small children that are going to need another way home from daycare. You’re doing a fine job of tricking your constituents and the national media into thinking that employees not using energy on Fridays in state buildings will sit home in dark, un-air conditioned rooms all day counting the kilowatts they’re saving. But we’re smarter than that. We can see through it.
Come on Guvna, I know it’s hard to see things from the working man’s perspective when you grow up the son of a billionaire, but can’t you find a bit of room for flexibility in your energy savings plan. Must it be mandatory?
Jonny, I know you know all about voluntary programs, and how effective they can be. You often assuage your right-wing donors by reminding them that your actions to avert the impending global climate crisis are not regulatory mandates but are just “consultative administrative or statutory processes.” And just yesterday, the Salt Lake Tribune said you are planning a media blitz to get more Utahns out of their cars and onto trains, bicycles and buses. For that I must say thank you. I’ve been trying to do the same thing for years and, frankly, could use a little help from somebody with pull like you.
But what gives, Guvna? Why are you only encouraging greenhouse gas reductions? Why are you only urging people to ride their bicycles? Shouldn’t these be mandatory? We’re talking about significant business practice and lifestyle changes here. Either you’ve got to mandate that Utahns ride trains, bicycles and buses instead of using their cars, or you’ve got to allow your employees a bit of flexibility in creating their work schedules. A Senate Confirmation Committee will eat you alive for an inconsistency like this.
Here’s how I see it Guv. It’s going to be a heckuva lot easier to allow 20,000 state employees a bit of flexibility than to force 2 million Utahns onto bicycles. I suggest, just this once, you take the easy way out. Your political aspirations depend on it.
The article describes what some see as a problem in that bikes are stacked like
dominoes at each end of the train cars.I rode FrontRunner on Tuesday and added my bicycle to a pile of six
bicycles, and that was before rush hour.
You can read the whole article
here, but, following the example of Rush Limbaugh, who pays attention to the
news so you don’t have to; I’ve taken the liberty to highlight some sections
and provided my own comments below.
The train is equipped with enough
straps to secure two bikes per car. That number is far short of the space and
straps needed to accommodate the 30 to 60 bikes brought aboard the train daily
during peak riding hours. "[That many bikes] is an
unexpected surprise. But it is a good surprise," said Utah Transit Authority (UTA) spokeswoman Carrie
Bohnsack-Ware.
They’re surprised because the people who make these decisions at UTA don’t ride
bikes. If they did they wouldn’t have
such restrictive rules on TRAX, and busses would be more accommodating of
bicycles. And they'd realize that bikes and trains are the perfect combination for getting around the Wasatch Front.
Bohnsack-Ware said one thing UTA is
trying to keep in mind is not making the trains so convenient for those with bikes
that they are inconveniencing other passengers.
Shouldn’t that be the point? By other
passengers, she means people who drive their cars to the station and catch the
train for the rest of their journey. Commendable
sure, but still polluting. Shouldn’t we
be making driving a car more and more inconvenient? These people are inconveniencing us with
their exhaust, their traffic congestion, and their greenhouse gases. Shouldn’t we have a right to inconvenience
them back?
Officials with UTA are aware of the
bike overcrowding problem aboard the trains, and they are trying to create the
balance needed between bike riders and non-riders alike.
The rail car coaches now in use also
are being modified to make room for more bikes by taking out a row of seating
along one of the walls.
Are we really supposed to believe this? Cyclists have complained about the lack of
bicycle facilities on TRAX—the light rail line—for almost ten years and UTA has
done absolutely nothing about it.
In the "early planning
stages" is a bike service center at the UTA Intermodal Hub in Salt Lake City to provide
bike rental to commuters, Bohnsack-Ware said.
What about those riders that aren’t going all the way to Salt Lake City?
One thing they have gleaned from rider
input is the need to offer for a small monthly fee bike lockers at the
different rail stop stations.
This would be OK if UTA also offered parking spaces for automobiles “for a
small monthly fee.” Currently parking is
free. Bike lockers should be free too.
The Salt Lake Tribune also gave a very brief mention to the story. I suggest you read some of the comments to that story. I also suggest you write UTA and tell them how you think they should go about accommodating bikes on trains.
An article in today’s Salt Lake Tribune caught my eye this morning. It’s about two sisters, ages 7 and 9, who were protesting high gas prices yesterday in downtown Salt Lake City. Read the article here.
While I think it’s adorable that a couple of kids who aren’t old enough to drive would protest high gas prices, that’s not what caught my eye.
What got me is the girls’ reason for protesting. It’s not that they’re going hungry because their parents are spending all of their income on gasoline. No, these girls are upset because their mother had to decide between buying gas and paying the cable bill. Mom wisely chose to fill the tank—even though I would have advised her to buy a bicycle instead—so she could get to work. The girls were upset about the prospect of a summer without daily doses of Hannah Montana on cable television.
These girls learned a valuable lesson, one that goes completely unmentioned in the newspaper article about them. When you turn off the TV, even for a few minutes, you begin to take notice of the world around you. And you see opportunities to make a difference in that world.
(hüp-t&-dü-d&l) n. 1. Stuff that gets in the way of a story's making progress. It is wordy, unnecessary, space-taking, and typically should be edited out. 2. Inflammation of a story caused by infectious or toxic writing and characterized by severe anacoluthon, embolalian engorgement, uncontrollable circumlocution, and runaway annomination. 3. Stuff Chad thinks about when he’s riding his bike.
Recent Comments